With the recent passing of Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple, it seems appropriate to dedicate this article to his contribution to society. There is no question that Steve Jobs was an innovative man. Most of us would be proud if our children would grow up to impact the lives of so many. He equipped us with computers, ipod touches, iphones and ipads. For the most part, these devices have made our lives easier, and have allowed us to be more productive with the idea to have more time, and more time for our families.
On the flip side of these inventions and connectivity is the increase in children glued to a screen: TV, video games, hand held video games, computers, ipods, smart phones, and now tablet computers. Although the intent of all of these inventions are incredible, ranging from entertainment to education to productivity. The question for parents is how do I manage these devices and screen time?
Is screen time a problem? How much screen time are kids getting? Nielsen Media reports that children watch 3 hours of live TV daily, which would not include time on video games, computers, or watching DVDs. Other studies have reported children having 4 hours of screen time daily. So, the first question as a parent is to get a sense of how much screen time your child really does have. Even if you think you it’s not that much, you might be surprised when you track it for a week.
What’s the big deal? What is so bad about screen time? Screen time usually means being sedentary, which leads to less exercise or activity and more overweight children. The second concern relates to imitative behavior. Studies have shown that kids that watch violent programing are more likely to show aggressive behavior. In addition, it desensitizes children to the detrimental effects of violence and events that can lead to death. Watching violence can change their world outlook that it’s just a scary place out there.
The influence of marketing can hit your pocketbook as well. There are some fantastic advertisements to children and you will know when your child tells you they can’t live with the item in question. They are too young to decipher what is a good product and what is not.
Watching TV too close to bedtime can make it difficult to initiate sleep. Additional studies have shown that more than two hours of TV per day can cause emotional, social and attention problems.
What do experts recommend? The American Association of Pediatrics discourages any screen time for children under 2, while older children should be limited to 1-2 hours a day.
We live in the screen age. The difficulty with parenting in this time is that we are surrounded by screens everywhere. Our favorite restaurant recently put in TV screens all over the restaurant. Granted the intent was for sporting event broadcasting, but it now interferes with our ability to have a family dinner away from home, because my son’s attention is on the screen instead of the rest of the family. This issue will affect most every family in America. It is not an issue that will go away if not addressed. It is here to stay. The earlier you address any concerns and set rule around screen time, the better off you will be.
Recommendations:
1. If you have children under 5, consider replacing some of their screen time with pretend play. This kind of play is all consuming. It develops their imagination, creativity, social skills and problem solving skills. If your child cannot be independent in pretend play, consider defining time frames of when it needs to be independent and when you are available to play. For example, “This is mommy’s play time and I wanna be the princess”, or “This is mommy's work time for the next 30 minutes and so you’ll need to play without me”.
2. When you allow screen time, evaluate what you want them doing: learning, being entertained, being creative, etc. Set the stage and the limit for them. Delineate it for them. For example, weekdays: 1 hour educational screen time (DS, ipod, computer game that teaches ABCs, addition, about animals, etc), weekends: 1 hour entertaining TV or video games.
3. Allow it. Don’t tolerate it. As the parent you set the rules on screen time. You allow your child to choose what device they can use when, and for what purpose. Tolerance is when kids get to watch any TV anytime, or play videos games whenever for however long. When we tolerate without any parameters and assert ourselves to interrupt screen time, it is often met with rebellion. I give you permission to set limits around screen time.
4. Step into their world. If they are obsessed with a video game, play it with them. If they want to watch a new TV show, watch it with them. The virtual world is here to stay, and be sure you stay connected to what they are interested in. It helps you to understand their viewpoint, which will be imperative when they are 16.
5. Don’t allow screen time to encroach upon family time (or homework time). If you truly want to have a family dinner, there should be no screens during that whole time. And, that goes for parents too.
6. If your child is begging for screen time, use it to your advantage. You have a bargaining chip to give additional screen time, for specific tasks you want accomplished, or certain changes in behavior. If you choose this as a privilege, then lower your standard (starting) screen time before allowing to add time to it.
7. Choose programs and games to your child’s level. Screen TV shows, video games (and phone game apps) for appropriateness. You can look at review ratings, and for movies read the parental guide on
www.imbd.com. Your child will beg you to watch a show, or play a game that a friend has. Make your own conclusion. You don’t have to allow it in your home because the neighbor does.
8. Consider having a screen free day, to teach kids there are other valuable activities they can engage in. Some families do this at regular intervals such as once a week or once a month.
9. When eating out, consider a screen free restaurant. I'm sure Steve Jobs would have wanted you to have a peaceful family meal.
10. Remember that screen time can be fun, educational, and creative. It’s not all bad. Praise shows and programs that you approve of and remember to have fun when it’s time to have fun.
Parenting tips has been brought to you by Lisa Klipfel, MFT, a child therapist with an office in San Clemente. Future parenting tips will highlight developmental milestones, positive discipline, bonding and so much more. Read more about Lisa here.
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